Credits
- Anita Dobson - vocals
- Brian May - backing vocals
- other musicians unknown
Discography
Albums:
Singles:
Alternate Versions:
Additional Information
Covers
Chords & Tabs
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Lyrics
Life's a bitch, my mum's a witch
My hamster died last night
My brother's got flu
'Says he got it from you
Funny old life ain't it
It's a funny old life
A funny old life
A funny life ain't it
It's a funny old life
A funny old life
A funny life ain't it
Hello, I'm glad you came round
I've been sitting here waiting for you for hours
Where've you been?
Honestly, some people have got no sense of timing
And don't say nothin' horrible about my song
'Cos I'm gonna sing you another verse
So just wait till you've heard it, alright?
Ready
Don't school dinners stink
And I'd rather have a drink
And my dad's bent, brown and bitter
Maggots rule
Bum, bum school
Funny old life ain't it
It's a funny old life
It's a funny old life
It's a funny life ain't it
It's a funny old life
A funny old life
A funny life ain't it
What do you reckon? Oh, don't say rubbish
Everybody says that, it's a really old verse
This is really important to me, I want to be a writer when I grow up
And don't tell me I'm gonna grow up
Anyway, this is really good
It's for my school play, and I'm gonna do it at Christmas
My schoolteacher says she thinks I've got artistic flair - ey?
I said artistic flair, cloth ears
Listen, I'll do you another verse
What do you think, alright?
I try to keep in my mum's good books
But I spilt it on her dress
I didn't know where the things should go
But I don't half like making a mess
'Cos life is really, really, really, terrible
It's a funny old life
Funny old life
Funny life ain't it
It's a funny old life
Funny old life
Funny life ain't it
I think it's good, considering it's my first attempt
My teacher says, if I get through, you know, the auditions
'Cos I'm gonna perform it, you know, at high school
And if it is good, then she's gonna let me do it for real
She says I'll have to have a really nice dress
And my mum's gonna have to cough up a lot of money
And I'm gonna have to do my own make up
That's a bit of a problem, really
'Cos I was watching my mum doing it the other day
You know, she's got these things that she sticks on her eyes
I think they call them false eyelashes
Women have false everything, don't they
My mum's got a false bra, false hairpiece, false eyelashes, false nails
Honestly, I reckon if she lost them all, my mum wouldn't be there at all
One of her eyelashes, the other day, I never told her, but
She dropped it down the side of the table
And I thought it was my pet spider
Anyway, my dad came in and he said 'what are you doing on the floor, girl'
I said dad, I've dropped my spider and mum's eyelashes have gone on the floor
And I don't know which one's which
Anyway, cut a long story short, my dad stood on both of 'em
So my spider's dead now
But my mum's eyelashes don't half look funny on her eyes
Anyway, I'll do you another verse
'Cos we're supposed to be working
This is my sort of fairly adventurous verse
I saw this film and it weren't half good
All goodies riding about
They kept making noises, grunting noises
And it sounded really, really, really terrible
Funny old life
Funny old life
Funny old life ain't it
It's a funny old life
Funny old life
Funny old life ain't it
Do you wanna join in?
'Cos sometimes when you're feeling really miserable
If you have a little chant to yourself
It does make you feel better, don't it?
I'm gonna get the whole school to do it
The choir and the scout's group
I've already got all my mates to come round
But they just keep taking the michael out of me
Have a go, with me, after three
Three
No wait a minute
After three - one - two - three - go
It's a funny old life
Funny old life
Funny life ain't it
It's a funny old life
Funny old life
Funny old life ain't it
My mum and dad have had a row
They're just not speaking again
When I grow up I think I'm just
Gonna go and live at the end of my garden
All on my own
You know what?
Some people - I know this bloke
He lives in a cave, I think he's called a hermit
Anyway, he got so fed up of everybody being horrible to him
He just said 'I'm going to the garden to eat worms'
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